Our in-house Wedding Planner and Stylist Alanah chats wedding stress and anxiety and some things you can do that can help.
Recently I was talking to a bride that is in the early stages of planning her wedding and is - to put it simply - really not enjoying it. Don't get me wrong she is excited but she is also struggling with something that a lot of brides encounter during their planning process - Wedding anxiety.
There's a lot of pressure that couples feel attached to weddings. Who should you invite and who shouldn't you? Will they be offended? Will you upset your mum if you don't have a church ceremony? Maybe your future mother-in-law mentioned in passing she doesn't love the invitations you chose and your partner's sister is annoyed that you are having a child free wedding and she can’t bring her three kids. It's all a lot. And it can be so overwhelming. For some brides all of this pressure can leave them feeling a little sick to the stomach and like they really don't want to deal with it.
For some couples this is the beginnings of a classic elopement story but if that isn't quite what you want to do I have a couple of pieces of advice that could help remedy some of that Wedding anxiety.
Enlist an advocate - Have someone on your wedding team that is going to be a true advocate for you and your partner. Someone who can listen with unjudging ears to your wedding stress, offer neutral advice and strategies and even assist you in the planning process.
This can be a friend, a bridesmaid or a family member however sometimes it helps if this is a person who is completely separate from your circle - enter a professional Wedding Planner. Wedding Planners are there solely to help make your wedding dreams come true and will literally take most of the tasks causing your stress and anxiety off your hands.
Lean on your partner - Your partner should be your biggest support for everything as you move through life - that’s why you are marrying them! Traditionally the wedding planning was tasked to the bride, and unfortunately some brides will feel the pressure of this task automatically falls only on them. However, it is becoming more and more popular for both partners to take on planning responsibilities. In fact, most grooms I speak to want to be included in the planning process and often don't realise that their fiance is feeling anxious. I have seen too many couples go through wedding stress without leaning on one another. If you are feeling stressed and anxious ask your partner for support.
It’s also important to have open and honest conversations about your day and its inclusions with your partner throughout the planning process. Your dream of a ceremony including long intimate and heartfelt vows might be very scary for your partner if they hate public speaking or a long photo shoot might evoke anxiety in your partner if they don't like their photo being taken.
A little bit of wedding stress and anxiety is always going to be a part of wedding planning but it shouldn't be so extreme you want to throw in the towel. Remember, it's your wedding, do it your way. Want some advice on how to choose the perfect Wedding planner or other things you can do to lessen your Wedding stress? Message me here.
If you or someone you know do need support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.