Hello Two Lovers! 

I need your help… The lead up to my wedding has been a long process, but the most stressful part has been one of my bridesmaids. I have been friends with one of my bridesmaids since I was 15 and I thought she was the one I wanted by my side on my wedding day. The problem is, it’s almost like she’s ghosted me! She doesn’t respond to any messages about the wedding, couldn’t come bridal or bridesmaid dress shopping with me and has now told me she won’t be at the bachelorette party OR the bridal shower!! 

What is the point in having a bridesmaid that won’t help with anything and now can’t make the upcoming events? I have been thinking about this for some time, but I don’t think I want a bridesmaid up there who has had no interest in the preparation for the wedding. Should I fire my bridesmaid? 

Yours sincerely, Is-she-my-bride-or-die? 

Dear Lover, 

This is a very tough situation, and we empathise with you right now! It’s actually a very common issue, more so than you would think, so we’re very glad you’ve come to us for advice. 

Having a bridesmaid who doesn’t seem to care about your big day and cannot attend the most important events in its lead up is heartbreaking. But at the end of the day, your wedding is about you and your Lover and you don’t want to cause any additional stress on yourself, as weddings can be stressful enough! So yes, it is okay to not include that bridesmaid. 

It is important that you approach the situation with love and honesty, you have a beautiful friendship that has lasted many years and hopefully many more, they just aren’t the right person to support you through this milestone. Delicately explain the situation to your friend and how you need someone to be more present throughout the process. Your bridesmaid might be able to explain her absence, and although it doesn’t excuse neglecting bridesmaid duties, there may be something else going on in her life and will provide some clarity on why this is happening. You might find you can even come up with a solution before you fire them. 

If, even after a discussion about what your expectations are as a bridesmaid and nothing changes or your bridesmaid can’t commit, then perhaps explain that you need some distance between them and the wedding planning and that it might be best for them to attend as a guest only, or ask them to be involved in any other component of your wedding that doesn’t require much preparation ie: signing as a witness on your marriage certificate.

Thinking about what your bridesmaid might wear the morning of? Shop our curated Robes & Sleepwear Collection here.