Dear Two Lovers,

From the very beginning of wedding planning.. (okay let's be honest before I was even engaged) I have been planning my Hens, even more so than my wedding. For me it's a time to celebrate Girl-Power and I love nothing more than a Ladies day out, but I wasn't keen on the penis straws or Bride-to-Be Sashes.

When the time came to planning, I made it clear to my Bridesmaids that I wanted to be a part of the planning process, to help bring my Hens dreams to life. I don't mind planning and I had a clear idea about what I wanted and the vibe of the day, I had already done the research and received quotes. 

How do I ask politely to have input into my hens, without hurting the feelings of my bridesmaids? Love, It's-my-Hens-and-I'll-cry-if-I-want-to!

Dear It's-my-Hens-and-I'll-cry-if-I-want-to,

Ah yes, as Wedding Planners and Stylists we understand that leaving the planning and styling to someone else can be well.... UNCOMFORTABLE! 

We would suggest explaining to your girls that you have a really specific dream of what your Hens day would look like and that you are perhaps happy for some surprises on the day but would like to be included in the greater planning aspects.

If they push back and are 100% not open to you being included you should probably break-up with them as friends, Joking of course! Here are a couple of things you can do to help steer the day your way: 

1. Set the expectations from the start. Create a wish list of must-haves to be included and send them the quotes you have already received. You will find they will appreciate the head-start in admin work! We love a good mood board! Create a mood board or send some inspo pics to your bride tribe. A visual of what you have in mind can sometime be a lot easier than explaining it to your bride tribe.

2. Enlist a spy! Your sister? Your BFF? Pull someone aside and let them know you are uncomfortable out of the loop and ask them to feed you some info so you have the opportunity to veto anything that is way outside the goal posts. Your spy can then steer the others towards what you really wanted. 

3. Lean into the process and sit back and relax! After all you have a whole wedding to plan... You have chosen your bridal party because they are some of the most important people in your life, who love and know you! These people are your nearest and dearest and should have a good idea of what you would like or don't like. From one control-freak to another, trust your people and enjoy the surprise!